I had sex with a prostitute when I was 21, I was so bad, she gave me a refund.
You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the south? Nothing! Someone is losing a trailer.
Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P., shouldn't we keep the P.C. on the Q.T.? 'cause if it leaks to the V.C. he could become a M.I.A. and then we'd all be put out on K.P.