She was so fat that when she got on the scale a card came out saying one at a time.
She was so fat that she has a dress with a sign on the back that says "caution wide load".
I tell ya, my wife, we get along good cause we have our own arrangement. I mean, one night a week I go out with the boys and one night a week, she goes out with the boys.
Last week I told my wife, "If you would learn to cook, I could fire the chef." She said, "If you could learn to make love, I could fire the chauffer."
One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.All quotes and jokes