Steve Martin


I believe that Ronald Reagan will someday make this country what it once was... an arctic wilderness.

A celebrity is any well-known TV or movie star who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair.

I used to smoke marijuana. But I'll tell you something: I would only smoke it in the late evening. Oh, occasionally the early evening, but usually the late evening - or the mid-evening. Just the early evening, midevening and late evening. Occasionally, early afternoon, early mid-afternoon, or perhaps the late-midafternoon. Oh, sometimes the early-mid-late-early morning. . . But never at dusk! Never at dusk, I would never do that.

I’ve had more women than most people have noses.

Lots of women are getting involved. They're not satisfied just being passengers anymore.

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