Quote by Roseanne Barr:

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.

Comedian
Short bio
Roseanne Cherrie Barr is an American actress, comedian, writer, producer, and politician. Barr began her career in stand-up comedy before gaining acclaim in the television sitcom Roseanne. She won an Emmy and a Golden Globe Award for Best Actress for her work on the show. Barr became a stand-up comedian in 1980.

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If I had a kid, I'd give him a name that would make everyone would want to say his name. I'd call him, Pizza-Pussy-Santa. I would! Cause everybody likes one of those things.

I'm buying a Cinnabon … at the airport … I arrived at. You understand why that's extra disgusting, right? Because when you're at the airport you're leaving from, you can say, "Oh, I gotta eat. I need some food, because I might be trapped in the sky forever, so I should eat right now." But I've landed. The trip is over. I'm 20 minutes from my house, where I got bananas and apples and shit. And I'm sitting on my luggage just fucking eating a Cinnabon with a fork and knife.

Do whatever you want, whenever you want to do it and, as long as you look confident, no one will give you any shit. Put that on the back of a locket, then swallow it.

They should name a gender after you. Looking at you doesn't do it, staring is the only way that makes sense. And trying not to blink so you don't miss anything. And all of that and you're you.

My wife can’t figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who’s had everything up to here?