Quotes & Jokes about Complaints
Most modern girls don’t really know what hiking is. To the average girl, hiking is: you wake up whenever you want; you put on Lululemon ‘cause they make your butt look unreasonably good - and they should for 800 fucking dollars - and you go for a walk in the park with your best friend and complain about how hungover you are. That’s hiking.
So he says My wife's a pain in the ass. She's always busting my friggin' agates. My daughter's married to a real loser bastard. And I got a rash so bad on my ass I can't even sit down. But you know me. I can't complain.
You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something.
My neighbor complains every time my girlfriend and I have sex. We're not even that loud. But he used to date my girlfriend.
Scientists are complaining that the new Dinosaur movie shows dinosaurs with lemurs, who didn't evolve for another million years. They're afraid the movie will give kids a mistaken impression. What about the fact that the dinosaurs are singing and dancing?
Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.
A friend is someone I complain to about my other friends.
Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
I can't complain about my career, that's for sure.
If I stop complaining I'll have nothing to compain about.
I've eaten things that didn't complain this much.
Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? Have the people we've been bombing over the years been complaining?
Whenever single people complain about anything, I really want them to shut the fuck up. First of all, if you're single, your life has no consequence on the earth. Even if you're helping people aggressively, which you're fucking not, nobody gives a shit what happens to you. You can die, and it actually doesn't matter. It doesn't. Your mother will cry or whatever, but otherwise, nobody gives a shit.
Like this girl said, after she caught me using her tooth brush. I said Why are you complaining? 30 mins ago you were licking my ass.
A guy complains of a headache. Another guy says, "Do what I do. I put my head on my wife's bosom, and the headache goes away." The next day, the man says, "Did you do what I told you to?" "Yes, I sure did. By the way, you have a nice house!"