Quote by Steven Wright:

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests.

Short bio
Steven Alexander Wright is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations.

All quotes by Steven Wright

Quotes by other comedians

I get recognized, but I'm not really a famous famous.

My ex girlfriend kept stuffed animals all over her bed. It really killed the mood. Because she was a taxidermist.

I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid.