To me, political office should be like jury duty. You should just get a notice in mail one day and be like, "I’m Secretary of State next month!"
Quote by Wanda Sykes:
Quotes by other comedians
Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
Congratulations to the Italian people for winning the World Cup. They won after France’s best player got ejected for head butting. That’s the closest anyone in a French uniform has come to combat in 60 years
All men hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, SEX, blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah, BEER.
I dated this woman for three weeks, and then she told me that she had a penis. I thought we were just role-playing. It was unbelievable. I was so shocked and embarrassed by it, it took me three more weeks to convince her to start wearing condoms.
You know the only thing you can do to stop your man from cheating? The only thing you can do … is be there. Where? There! Wherever he's thinking about fucking, that's it. Just be right there. And even then he still might lose your ass. He's like, "Honey, look! A Sale! Let me go fuck this bitch right now!"