Quotes & Jokes about Politics

95 quotes

I'll show you politics in America. Here it is, right here. "I think the puppet on the right shares my beliefs." "I think the puppet on the left is more to my liking." Hey, wait a minute, there's one guy holding out both puppets!

The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

Politicians are a lot like diapers. They should be changed frequently, and for the same reasons.

Politics: “Poli” a Latin word meaning “many”; and "tics" meaning “bloodsucking creatures”.

I learned early on, stay away from politics, stay away from religion and don't talk about sports. Those three right there will get you in trouble.

It was so cold, the politicians had their hands in their own pockets.

Political views divide faster than marriages.

Politicians have a lot to deal with these days. It's a different world. You know who I feel bad for? Arab Americans who truly want to get into crop dusting. Could be their life long dream, and every time they ask for a pamphlet, all hell breaks loose.

When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person.

Imagine my surprise when it turned out the main thing that I was qualified for was to get another degree and teach Political Science to other people, who would, in turn, teach it to other people! This wasn't higher education, this was Amway with a football team!

Political correctness? In my humor, I never talk about politics. I was never much into all that.

You know there's no crooked politicians. There's never a lie because there is never any truth.

Liberals will buy anything a bigot writes. In fact, they really support hate mongers. George Lincoln Rockwell, the leader of the American Nazi Party is probably a very knowledgeable businessman with no political convictions what so ever. He gets three bucks a head and works the mass rallies consisting of nothing but angry Jews, shaking their fists and wondering why there are so many Jews there. And Rockwell probably has only two real followers - and they're deaf. They think the swastika is merely an Aztec symbol.

Freedom isn't free. It shouldn't be a bragging point that "Oh, I don't get involved in politics", as if that makes you somehow cleaner. No, that makes you derelict of duty in a republic. Liars and panderers in government would have a much harder time of it if so many people didn't insist on their right to remain ignorant and blindly agreeable.

Politics move, as fast as Twitter, and for everyone to think that in four years America was going to be perfect is ridiculous.