Quotes & Jokes about Politics

95 quotes

I'll show you politics in America. Here it is, right here. "I think the puppet on the right shares my beliefs." "I think the puppet on the left is more to my liking." Hey, wait a minute, there's one guy holding out both puppets!

The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

Politicians are a lot like diapers. They should be changed frequently, and for the same reasons.

I learned early on, stay away from politics, stay away from religion and don't talk about sports. Those three right there will get you in trouble.

Politics: “Poli” a Latin word meaning “many”; and "tics" meaning “bloodsucking creatures”.

Political correctness? In my humor, I never talk about politics. I was never much into all that.

Politicians have a lot to deal with these days. It's a different world. You know who I feel bad for? Arab Americans who truly want to get into crop dusting. Could be their life long dream, and every time they ask for a pamphlet, all hell breaks loose.

When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person.

It was so cold, the politicians had their hands in their own pockets.

Political views divide faster than marriages.

Freedom isn't free. It shouldn't be a bragging point that "Oh, I don't get involved in politics", as if that makes you somehow cleaner. No, that makes you derelict of duty in a republic. Liars and panderers in government would have a much harder time of it if so many people didn't insist on their right to remain ignorant and blindly agreeable.

Shopping and buying and getting and having comprise the Great American Addiction. No one is immune. When the underclass riots in this country they don’t kill policemen and politicians, they steal merchandise. How embarrassing.

You know there's no crooked politicians. There's never a lie because there is never any truth.

Liberals will buy anything a bigot writes. In fact, they really support hate mongers. George Lincoln Rockwell, the leader of the American Nazi Party is probably a very knowledgeable businessman with no political convictions what so ever. He gets three bucks a head and works the mass rallies consisting of nothing but angry Jews, shaking their fists and wondering why there are so many Jews there. And Rockwell probably has only two real followers - and they're deaf. They think the swastika is merely an Aztec symbol.

I can't talk politics with my cousin because he's such a hypocrite. He's against the death penalty and he hanged himself.