Quote by Amy Schumer:

You have to pretend like you want to use a condom. I like to say something fun when I bring it up, but honest. I'll be like, 'You're going to want to wear this. I've had a busy month.'

Comedian
Short bio
Amy Beth Schumer is an American stand-up comedian and actress. She ventured into comedy in the early 2000s before appearing as a contestant on the fifth season of the NBC reality competition series Last Comic Standing in 2007.

All quotes by Amy Schumer

Quotes by other comedians

Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids.

Oh, southern rappers... so hard to write a rhyme when you only know 30 words.

Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.

We had a civil ceremony – his mother couldn’t come.

James Cagney, who said to Mickey Mouse, "You dirty rat!" Never got a dinner!