Quotes & Jokes about Honesty

31 quotes

You ever hear girls say that? "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual." I like to reply with "I'm not honest, but you're interesting!"

No, I don't do drugs anymore, either. But I'll tell you something about drugs. I used to do drugs, but I'll tell you something honestly about drugs, honestly, and I know it's not a very popular idea, you don't hear it very often anymore, but it is the truth: I had a great time doing drugs. Sorry. Never murdered anyone, never robbed anyone, never raped anyone, never beat anyone, never lost a job, a car, a house, a wife or kids, laughed my ass off, and went about my day.

Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'. I type 'lqtm' - laugh quietly to myself. It's more honest.

Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

The best definition of an honest politician is one who… when he is bought, stays bought.

Let's be very honest about what this is about. It's not about bashing Democrats, it's not about taxes, they have no idea what the Boston tea party was about, they don't know their history at all. This is about hating a black man in the White House. This is racism straight up.

When you're missing your two front teeth, that's honesty. That is a door to your oral history. You're not covering anything up. You're saying, 'Hey world, I'm missing my front teeth. I'm gross; I'm dirty; I'm poor. I clearly have no problem with public urination and eating garbage. Don't come near me, I'll gum you to death!'

Reminds me of something my grandfather would say. He'd say, "I'm going upstairs to fuck your grandmother." He was an honest man, and he wasn't going to bullshit a four-year-old.

When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty.

The God's honest truth is that I'm probably funnier, but he's smarter. Here's the thing about Stern - he's really a smart guy. He's nutty. He's outrageous. He's all those things, but he's also a very smart guy.

The universe is not rich enough to buy the vote of an honest man.

I had everything I'd hoped for, but I wasn't being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. It was strange: The people who loved me for being funny suddenly didn't like me for being... me.

You have the honesty of Abraham Lincoln and all the charm of the man who shot him.

I can't vouch for this film, in all honesty.

Honesty buys you nothing at all in this school.