Quotes & Jokes about Honesty

31 quotes

You ever hear girls say that? "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual." I like to reply with "I'm not honest, but you're interesting!"

No, I don't do drugs anymore, either. But I'll tell you something about drugs. I used to do drugs, but I'll tell you something honestly about drugs, honestly, and I know it's not a very popular idea, you don't hear it very often anymore, but it is the truth: I had a great time doing drugs. Sorry. Never murdered anyone, never robbed anyone, never raped anyone, never beat anyone, never lost a job, a car, a house, a wife or kids, laughed my ass off, and went about my day.

Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'. I type 'lqtm' - laugh quietly to myself. It's more honest.

Reminds me of something my grandfather would say. He'd say, "I'm going upstairs to fuck your grandmother." He was an honest man, and he wasn't going to bullshit a four-year-old.

When you're missing your two front teeth, that's honesty. That is a door to your oral history. You're not covering anything up. You're saying, 'Hey world, I'm missing my front teeth. I'm gross; I'm dirty; I'm poor. I clearly have no problem with public urination and eating garbage. Don't come near me, I'll gum you to death!'

Let's be very honest about what this is about. It's not about bashing Democrats, it's not about taxes, they have no idea what the Boston tea party was about, they don't know their history at all. This is about hating a black man in the White House. This is racism straight up.

Here are the values that I stand for: honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you want to be treated and helping those in need. To me, those are traditional values.

Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

The best definition of an honest politician is one who… when he is bought, stays bought.

You have the honesty of Abraham Lincoln and all the charm of the man who shot him.

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.

Just honest. To me, being 'politically incorrect' means the opposite of being political - which means to spin everything. That's all it's ever meant to me. It's never meant liberal or conservative. It means honest.

The God's honest truth is that I'm probably funnier, but he's smarter. Here's the thing about Stern - he's really a smart guy. He's nutty. He's outrageous. He's all those things, but he's also a very smart guy.

Honesty buys you nothing at all in this school.

The universe is not rich enough to buy the vote of an honest man.