Quote by Anthony Jeselnik:

Who do you think was better: Jesus or Buddha; I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified?

Comedian
Short bio
Anthony Jeselnik is an American comedian, writer, actor, and producer. He is known for his dark comedy style, which emphasizes ironic misdirection, non sequiturs, biting insults, an arrogant demeanor, and a stage persona that frequently takes amoral stances.

All quotes by Anthony Jeselnik

Quotes by other comedians

One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.

As far as gambling, just ask any of the dealers in the Las Vegas casinos and they'll tell you that woman can't play blackjack. They can't add up the cards fast enough.

I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.

If I start giving people what they like I'll turn into one of them and I don't want to be one of them I want to be one of me.

Sex sells, but doesn't work so well as a strong-arm tactic. "Give me your purse or I'll make out with you so hard".