Who do you think was better: Jesus or Buddha; I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified?
Quote by Anthony Jeselnik:
Quotes by other comedians
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
As far as gambling, just ask any of the dealers in the Las Vegas casinos and they'll tell you that woman can't play blackjack. They can't add up the cards fast enough.
I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
If I start giving people what they like I'll turn into one of them and I don't want to be one of them I want to be one of me.
Sex sells, but doesn't work so well as a strong-arm tactic. "Give me your purse or I'll make out with you so hard".