Quote by Anthony Jeselnik:

I'm mad at my roommate for masturbating in front of the computer. It's my computer. And he doesn't even watch anything.

Short bio
Anthony Jeselnik is an American comedian, writer, actor, and producer. He is known for his dark comedy style, which emphasizes ironic misdirection, non sequiturs, biting insults, an arrogant demeanor, and a stage persona that frequently takes amoral stances.

All quotes by Anthony Jeselnik

Quotes by other comedians

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

Some entertainers don't pay attention to what's going on around them.

What do people in prison say when they meet new friends? "Give me your cell number."