My nephew killed himself masturbating but, officially, the cause of death is exhaustion.
Quote by Anthony Jeselnik:
Quotes by other comedians
I can't remember the last live-action, non-animated Christmas movie.
I always want to go back and do stand-up; I like the freedom.
I don't have the time to steal other people's material even if I wanted to. The reason why these rumors got started is that I don't really contest them because I don't believe they deserve contesting. I really don't.