I just got a car, and I gotta say, this car is very cryptic. The very first day I drove it, a light came on out of nowhere: 'Check engine.' Could they be any more vague? What if a light came on and said, 'Problem'?
Quote by Arj Barker:
Quotes by other comedians
Kristen Stewart always looks like she's posing for pictures taken in a basement by her creepy uncle.
Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you're pouring, or drinking.
Before I was a comedian, I thought the coolest thing that would happen to me was to be a teenager. Boy, was I wrong.
Teachers have a chance to mold someone, inspire them. I hope all teachers realize that.
I understand dildos: not everybody has fifteen inches of dick to swing around to scare the children.