Quotes & Jokes about Cars

38 quotes

Roses are grey, Violets are a different shade of grey, Lets go chase cars!

I used to have horrible cars that would always end up broken down on the highway. When I tried to flag someone down, nobody stopped. But if I pushed my own car, other drivers would get out and push with me. If you want help, help yourself - people like to see that.

I blew a speaker in my car today. Yeah, he was a motivational speaker. It left a bad taste in my mouth but I feel a lot more positive.

Ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.

Cars and women are a lot alike. They lie about the milage.

The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It's a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.

I never smoke grass and drive my car because, for one thing, no matter how many letters I write to the road commissions, they still refuse to start designing highways with second-chance exits.

You might be a redneck if you've been to a funeral and there were more pick-ups than cars.

I just got a car, and I gotta say, this car is very cryptic. The very first day I drove it, a light came on out of nowhere: 'Check engine.' Could they be any more vague? What if a light came on and said, 'Problem'?

I saw one of those giant Hummer cars with handicapped tags on it. I thought, 'Wow, I never realized that being an asshole was technically a handicap.'

Just got a new car - got a little Miata convertible. Pretty happy about it, except for one thing: I'm 6-foot-6, so now I look like a McDonald's toy.

When I got older I said, "Pa, I want an automobile." He said, "What do you want an automobile for, when you have the subway. Five cents - the open the door for you, you sit down. Then when you get to the station they open the door and you get out. In a $700 auto who's going to open the door for you?" You couldn't argue - they were never stuck for an answer.

Once we used to have to crank up our cars, now you can pop it on from inside your house. Everything has changed except how we get freedom.

I killed a squirrel once with a car. Twice with a tennis racket.