Quotes & Jokes about Cars

Roses are grey, Violets are a different shade of grey, Lets go chase cars!

I blew a speaker in my car today. Yeah, he was a motivational speaker. It left a bad taste in my mouth but I feel a lot more positive.

I used to have horrible cars that would always end up broken down on the highway. When I tried to flag someone down, nobody stopped. But if I pushed my own car, other drivers would get out and push with me. If you want help, help yourself - people like to see that.

Ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?

Cars and women are a lot alike. They lie about the milage.

The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It's a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car.

Once we used to have to crank up our cars, now you can pop it on from inside your house. Everything has changed except how we get freedom.

Just got a new car - got a little Miata convertible. Pretty happy about it, except for one thing: I'm 6-foot-6, so now I look like a McDonald's toy.

Let me tell about Tennessee. If your car breaks down in Tennessee, you have just moved to Tennessee.

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.

I saw one of those giant Hummer cars with handicapped tags on it. I thought, 'Wow, I never realized that being an asshole was technically a handicap.'

You might be a redneck if you've been to a funeral and there were more pick-ups than cars.

I just got a car, and I gotta say, this car is very cryptic. The very first day I drove it, a light came on out of nowhere: 'Check engine.' Could they be any more vague? What if a light came on and said, 'Problem'?

All birds masturbate. Yeah, you thought that was shit on your car.

When I got older I said, "Pa, I want an automobile." He said, "What do you want an automobile for, when you have the subway. Five cents - the open the door for you, you sit down. Then when you get to the station they open the door and you get out. In a $700 auto who's going to open the door for you?" You couldn't argue - they were never stuck for an answer.