Quote by Aziz Ansari:

My perfect date night: I pick you up. In my Kia Sorrento. You get in. There's candles in the car. You go 'Is that dangerous?" and I go, Yes... but I like danger. We go to your favorite restaurant, and we have a fantastic meal. We come outside and we see my cars on fire. You go, "Aziz, your cars on fire. Aren't you upset?" I pull out a bag of marshmallows and I go, No. I knew this was gonna happen. And then I kiss you. In front of my burning car.

Comedian
Short bio
Aziz Ismail Ansari is an American actor, writer, producer, director, and comedian. He is known for his role as Tom Haverford on the NBC series Parks and Recreation, and as creator and star of the Netflix.

All quotes by Aziz Ansari

Quotes by other comedians

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

You look like something the dog just buried in the backyard and is trying to forget where.

The speed of time is one second per second.

I get intimacy booster shots once a week at my doctor.

I'd go back, yeah. I don't care, I got a kid, man - I'll sell tampons. I mean, there's no selling-out once you get a kid. I got a kid.