Quotes & Jokes about Danger

29 quotes

My perfect date night: I pick you up. In my Kia Sorrento. You get in. There's candles in the car. You go 'Is that dangerous?" and I go, Yes... but I like danger. We go to your favorite restaurant, and we have a fantastic meal. We come outside and we see my cars on fire. You go, "Aziz, your cars on fire. Aren't you upset?" I pull out a bag of marshmallows and I go, No. I knew this was gonna happen. And then I kiss you. In front of my burning car.

My twin boys are two and they’re cute… but when they become adults, the danger of identical twins, I hope they’re handsome. Because if they’re even slightly ugly, there’s two of those. You notice that. If you see one slightly ugly man walk across the room that’s no big deal. But if you see the same ugliness right behind him. “Hey! Look at that… I didn’t think he was that ugly until I saw it again.”

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive. "Dude, make a left." "Those are trees. Trust me."

England is the only country in the world where the food is more dangerous than the sex.

Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger.

Love is very dangerous if you just have love and don't have the ability to be lovable.

The money can be a hindrance to someone like me because the danger is that you start thinking, "Is that a $20 million take?" That kind of thing, and being self-critical.

Twitter is one of those dangerous toys that if it gets in the hands of the wrong person you'll have the mind of a 12-year-old masquerading as an adult.

Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded.

For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward.

Pot is to narcotics what herpes is to social diseases; it doesn't count cos it's not really dangerous and it's too easy to get.

There's a danger our fiscal bankruptcy might overtake our moral bankruptcy.

Having a dick is one of the most dangerous things on the planet. How many people are eaten by sharks each year? How many guys lose everything they've got because of their dick? Yet the Discovery Channel has Shark week every other fucking month. Why doesn't it have Dick Week? That would be the scariest seven days in the history of television.

It's thirty days since the terrorist act. George Bush has told us to go back to our normal lives and to go back to what we used to do, so I've gone back to thinking that George Bush is a soft-headed tit and a danger to all of us.

Your request is not unlike your lower intestine, stinky and loaded with danger.