Quote by Bo Burnham:

And if I die early the situation will be auto-erotic asphyxiation, I hate my life and it hates me back!

Comedian
Short bio
Robert Pickering "Bo" Burnham is an American comedian, musician, actor, filmmaker, director and poet. He began his performance career as a YouTuber in March 2006, and his videos have been viewed over 250 million times as of December 2018.

All quotes by Bo Burnham

Quotes by other comedians

I just always wonder if I’m too obsessive about subjects. I try to avoid that.

If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't "juicy".

People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can't do math. And they will readily admit to being awkward: "I'm such a klutz!" But they will never admit to having a poor sense of humor or being a bad driver.

Fiddling knobs, touching keys, having fun with a full grown man.

Lindsay Lohan fell in love while in rehab. Who wouldn’t? You share meals together, gaze into each other’s eyes, talk about your feelings and share one romantic sunset after another - for roughly $50,000 a month. Pretty pricey, considering a month of eHarmony.com is only $21.