Shot down by a twenty-two year old waitress in breakaway panties!
Quote by Christopher Titus:
Quotes by other comedians
Well I grew up in Canada in a really small town. We didn't have running water for a long time and we didn't have TV. Then when we did get TV we only had one channel.
Our egos tells us we're the only ones that have any kind of feelings. We're the only ones with a relationship. We're the only ones with family. You know, I think that if you kill a spider, there is a relationship that you're ruining. There's a conversation going on outside with the other spiders. 'Did you hear about Chris?.... Killed yeah... .Sneaker. And now Stephanie has nine hundred babies to raise all alone. Well, she's got her legs full I'll tell you that right now. Chris was so kind, wouldn't hurt a fly. It's just been tough for them lately. They just lost their web last week. Those humans think they're so smart. Let them try shooting silk out of their butt and see what they can make.
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
I think the people I talk about are generally so stupid that they don’t even know I’m saying bad things about them. I've run into Paris Hilton and she’s like, "Oh, I love your show." And I’m like, "You can’t love my show if you can hear."
The fact they're not there anymore is not a reflection on the actors. It's just that viewers didn't like it. You went, 'What the hell was that?'