Quote by Daniel Tosh:

Girls can fake orgasms, but boys can fake love.

Comedian
Short bio
Daniel Dwight Tosh is an American comedian, television host, actor, writer, and executive producer. He is known for his deliberately offensive and controversial style of black comedy, as the host of the Comedy Central television show Tosh.0, and as the star of stand-up comedy tours and specials.

All quotes by Daniel Tosh

Quotes by other comedians

If I found her floating in my pool, I'd punish my dog.

I'd much rather have AIDS than a baby... They're not that different at all. They're both expensive, you have them for the rest of your life, they're constant reminders of the mistakes you've made and once you have them, you pretty much can only date other people who have them.

The big debate right now is if Saddam is alive or dead. He's dead, then he's alive, then dead, then alive. It's just confusing. Today they showed videotape, and Saddam was speaking at his own funeral.

Paula Abdul’s really impatient to start a family. She says if she has to wait much longer she’s going to go crazy-er.

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.