Girls can fake orgasms, but boys can fake love.
Quote by Daniel Tosh:
Quotes by other comedians
If I found her floating in my pool, I'd punish my dog.
I'd much rather have AIDS than a baby... They're not that different at all. They're both expensive, you have them for the rest of your life, they're constant reminders of the mistakes you've made and once you have them, you pretty much can only date other people who have them.
The big debate right now is if Saddam is alive or dead. He's dead, then he's alive, then dead, then alive. It's just confusing. Today they showed videotape, and Saddam was speaking at his own funeral.
Paula Abdul’s really impatient to start a family. She says if she has to wait much longer she’s going to go crazy-er.
I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.