Quotes & Jokes about Love

If you haven't contemplated murder, you ain't been in love. If you haven't seriously thought about killing a motherfucker, you ain't been in love.

Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.

Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone you love.

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.

I love my dad. He used to be a professional wrestler in Mexico. So it was cool growing up with him, because when he hit us, he didn’t really hit us.

You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.

Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.

You gotta keep falling in love. You gotta believe in it. What are you going to do... give sheep the vote?

Love is man's natural endowment, but he doesn't know how to use it. He refuses to recognize the power of love because of his love of power.

If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.

It's easy to love somebody. Shit, sit with them a little bit and talk to them a while.

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap on-a-rope.

I love my girlfriend, don't get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It's a gift.

Women want you to suffer. You know what I mean? They want you to go 4 to 8 grand in debt. They want you to do that, and go to work every fucking day, knowing that you're working for their fucking love and the use of their fucking vagina.