Quotes & Jokes about Love

41 quotes

Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone you love.

Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.

If you haven't contemplated murder, you ain't been in love. If you haven't seriously thought about killing a motherfucker, you ain't been in love.

You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.

Love is man's natural endowment, but he doesn't know how to use it. He refuses to recognize the power of love because of his love of power.

I love my dad. He used to be a professional wrestler in Mexico. So it was cool growing up with him, because when he hit us, he didn’t really hit us.

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.

It's easy to love somebody. Shit, sit with them a little bit and talk to them a while.

Ladies, if you’re at the mall and you think your man is looking at other girls just remember: If your man is at the mall with you... he... loves you.

The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.

Some of us will never ever find true love. Take, for instance me. And I'm pretty sure that guy right there. And that lady with the sideburns. And basically everybody at table nine.

I love my girlfriend, don't get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It's a gift.

You have to break in half to love somebody.

If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.