Quotes & Jokes about Love

41 quotes

Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone you love.

If you haven't contemplated murder, you ain't been in love. If you haven't seriously thought about killing a motherfucker, you ain't been in love.

Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.

Love is man's natural endowment, but he doesn't know how to use it. He refuses to recognize the power of love because of his love of power.

You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.

I love my dad. He used to be a professional wrestler in Mexico. So it was cool growing up with him, because when he hit us, he didn’t really hit us.

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.

It's easy to love somebody. Shit, sit with them a little bit and talk to them a while.

I love my girlfriend, don't get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It's a gift.

If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.

Girls can fake orgasms, but boys can fake love.

Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.

Some of us will never ever find true love. Take, for instance me. And I'm pretty sure that guy right there. And that lady with the sideburns. And basically everybody at table nine.

The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.