Quote by Daniel Tosh:

Now it’s time for amasians... That’s Asians doing something amazing.

Comedian
Short bio
Daniel Dwight Tosh is an American comedian, television host, actor, writer, and executive producer. He is known for his deliberately offensive and controversial style of black comedy, as the host of the Comedy Central television show Tosh.0, and as the star of stand-up comedy tours and specials.

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You're gonna check my computer records? Is that important? I don't think the government needs to know how I feel about teen Asian sluts in order to fight terrorism.

You might be a redneck if Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people".

Let's all start wearing bolo ties, and when they become hip again, we'll all say we were kidding.

Does everybody have their WWJD bracelets on? 'Cause I was wearing my bracelet recently, and I was in the movie theater, and this guy's cell phone went off - don't you just hate that? Then he picked it up, 'Hey, how's it going? I'm in a movie.' And I'm like, 'Hey! Get off the phone!' And he's like, 'Mind your own business.' And I almost went crazy, but then I looked at my bracelet: what would Jesus do? So I lit him on fire and sent him to Hell.

I think my ex-girlfriend has weekly lessons with the devil on how to be more evil. I don’t know what she charges him.