Quote by David Spade:

Actually my Dad just took off. It was one of those divorces he split and he'd show up once a year and give me a Nerf football for Christmas. Thought he's my hero again. Woah it's two colors... you spoil me, you prick.

Comedian
Short bio
David Wayne Spade is an American actor, stand-up comedian, writer, television personality, and late-night talk show host. He rose to fame in the 1990s as a cast member on Saturday Night Live, then began a successful acting career in both film and television.

All quotes by David Spade

Quotes by other comedians

I love singing along to the radio while I’m riding in the back of a squad car.

Actually it broke my heart to hear that we were going to have to part ways, ... It's a business and they had to do what they had to do.

Time is only linear for engineers and referees.

Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.

Every time I see Dan Quayle I feel like buying a vowel.