Quote by Doug Stanhope:


Remember the lesson that Susan Boyle taught us all. Before you judge an ugly person, give them two minutes to whistle a tune or tap dance for you. And if they can’t, fuck ‘em. Stupid ugly fuck.

Comedian

Quotes by other comedians

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

Whiskey will always be a part of my life.

There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life.