Quotes & Jokes about Dancing

68 quotes

You know the stripper myth? There's a stripper myth, that's being perpetuated throughout society. The myth is, I'm strippin' to pay my tuition. No you're not! There's no strippers in college! There's no clear heels in biology! Shit, man. I didn't know they had a college that only took one-dollar bills. And if they got so many strippers at college, how come I never got a smart lap dance? I never got a girl that sat on my lap and said, If I was you, I would diversify my portfolio. You know, ever since the end of the Cold War, I find NATO obsolete!.

There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting.

I have a five-gallon jar at my house I like to fill with change. I don't stop 'til I reach tip-top and that little bell goes off, and I know Cargo Pant Day is here at last, and I dance. And I put the cargo pants on with a belt - extra tight because I don't want to have an embarrassing situation on such a great day - and I fill up all the pockets with the change. Then I get a car alarm - not a car alarm with a car, just a car alarm - and I hold it to my chest really closely. And then I go walk around the streets of Manhattan, and I wait for the first homeless person to come up to me and say, 'Hey, you got any spare change?' Then, I set the car alarm off: 'You hit the jackpot, mofo!'

Sometimes I like a dancing plethora of cheese in my mouth, and then other times I am into a more solo cheese adventure, just a single one on one, me and one cheese.

I don’t tend to like race jokes. I don’t like Jew jokes and black jokes, and they make me very uncomfortable, probably because I’m both. Well, I’m not black - but if I was then I could dance better.

If people stand in a circle long enough, they'll eventually begin to dance.

I was once dancing with a woman who told me she had a yeast infection so I told her to bake me some bread.

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.

Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!

So I was watching all the Katrina coverage and I got really angry at... Christians who didn't pray hard enough... It's their fucking fault. First off, they needed to pray against the people that were praying for Katrina to hit, because New Orleans is a den of sin and iniquity; an area where gay people dance! But now they have to pray double, and if they had just put that little effort up front, we could've avoided all of this. I think it's time we take a lesson from history, and return to human sacrifice.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

White people can't dance. I'm not being racist it's true. Just like when white people say black people have big lips, it's not racist it's true. Black people have big lips, white people can't dance. Some brothers will be in the club and white people are like, What are those niggers doing in here? They watchin' y'all dance. And thy're like, Look at these crazy muthafuckas. Y'all be stepping on people's feet and hitting one another.

Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.

He can procrastinate more than any kid I've ever met in my life. When I tell my son to go take a shower, it can easily be forty-five minutes before I hear the water start running. Do you got one like this? He gets up in his bathroom, 'cause he has go to the bathroom again. And I don't even think he has to go; I think he just enjoys the comfort of that seat. It's like his La-Z-Boy rocker. He's got books in front of it, and LEGOs. And one night, I told him to go take a shower, and I didn't hear the water run for about an hour, and I said "that is it!" And I went upstairs and I walked in his room, and I heard this "boom, boom, boom." And I looked around the corner of the bathroom, he is standing butt naked in front of the mirror going "shake your boom boom, shake your boom boom." And I let it go for about ten seconds, then went "Shake, boy!" We don't nekkid dance anymore.

I've actually tried to give Brett Ratner dance lessons, but he thinks he already knows how to.