Politicians are a lot like diapers. They should be changed frequently, and for the same reasons.
Quote by Robin Williams:
Quotes by other comedians
Some comics don't like it when people talk during the set, and it does get a little bit annoying after awhile, but I basically let people dictate what jokes I'm going to do.
You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.
There's no happy ending to cocaine. You either die, you go to jail, or else you run out.