Quote by Emo Philips:

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

Comedian
Short bio
Emo Philips is an American stand-up comedian, actor, voice actor, writer and producer. His stand-up comedy persona makes use of paraprosdokians spoken in a wandering falsetto tone of voice.

All quotes by Emo Philips

Quotes by other comedians

Women are more emotional. They do get flustered. Which is not to say that men are better than they. It's simply the way it is.

Sarah Palin, part-time Governor of Alaska, is angry because Michele Obama is encouraging kids to eat healthy. Sarah Palin believes the government shouldn't tell us what to do. Sarah Palin believes she should tell us what to do.

Nothing matters until you realize that nothing really matters other than helping others who live as if nothing will ever really matter.

I can't vouch for this film, in all honesty.

Charlie Chaplin is the greatest artist of the 20th century. He takes me from laughter to tears in seconds. And he was one of the very first funny men. It’s like the original violins were made in Cremona and there’s never been any better since. Sometimes the best come right off the bat.