I saw that Linens 'N Things was going out of business. I know. My first thought was, 'Should have been more specific.'
Quote by Eugene Mirman:
Quotes by other comedians
I'm much bigger in Britain than I am there. I'm well-known, but my name's That Guy in America... People shout: "Hey I know you! You're That Guy."
Man was made in God`s image. Do you really think God has red hair and glasses?
I took my son to Coney island, I said "wanna go in the crazy house?", he said "save your money we'll be home soon"!
My wife can’t figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who’s had everything up to here?
I was coming down the street today with my girlfriend. This guy shouts out, 'Hey man, your girlfriend's a peach!' And I thought, 'Well, that's nice.' And then it turns out she has a really fuzzy face and a stem.