Quote by Felipe Esparza:

I got friends who look like life beat the shit out of them.

Comedian
Short bio
Felipe Esparza is a Mexican-American stand-up comedian and actor. He began performing stand-up in 1994. He won Last Comic Standing in 2010. Esparza has hosted a weekly podcast called What's Up Fool? since 2014.

All quotes by Felipe Esparza

Quotes by other comedians

Why would any woman agree to be on a show called Bridezillas? It's not like men would agree to be on Douchegroom.

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.

Three wishes - no substitutes, exchanges or refunds.

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

You rarely hear anyone use the word "pancreas" in a not-horrible context.