Quote by Gary Gulman:

I hate nickels; they're quarter impersonators.

Short bio
Gary Lewis Gulman is an American stand-up comedian. He was a finalist on the NBC reality-talent show Last Comic Standing in its second and third seasons. He released his first CD, Conversations With Inanimate Objects in 2005, and his first television special Gary Gulman: Boyish Man the following year.

All quotes by Gary Gulman

Quotes by other comedians

I simply care nothing for any of your religions, as all three are fundamentally flawed, unlike the Church of Common Sense, right from the start! They call God he instead of she and all three would like to burn me at the stake for saying that!

A know-it-all is a person who knows everything except for how annoying he is.

"It's the violence in the media that's the problem..." No, the problem is a lot of your kids are dicks and you won't do shit about it.

You can’t marry him. You’re a Catholic and he’s… an asshole, think of the children.

Atheism is a religion like abstinence is a sex position.