When you're gay every party is a bad sweater party.
Quote by Gary Gulman:
Quotes by other comedians
Somebody cut my bike seat. Think about that. What level of misery must you have experienced as a kid to see my 10-speed tied to a pole, pull out a blade and be like, 'Look at this rich mother fucker right here.' You know, like I control the banks because I own a Huffy. I'm the bad guy; I'm the guy you want to get back at.
My wife loves to shop at Bloomingdale's. I bring her mail there twice a week.
Anal sex is a lot like spinach: if you're forced to have it as a child, you won't enjoy it as an adult.