You know your school is crappy when they advertise it on the subway.
Quote by Godfrey:
Quotes by other comedians
People are starving all over the world, what do you mean, "red meat will kill you"? Don't eat no red meat? No, don't eat no green meat. If you lucky enough to get your hands on a steak, bite the shit out of it!
And He saw that it was good!
Big can be beautiful - just not to me. I find you disgusting; freshmen 15 is not a life sentence.
I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me if they can help me, and I say, "Have you got anything I'd like?" Then they ask me what size I need, and I say, "Extra medium."
My buddy Tom... he'd been chasing a girl for two years, and he got her the old-fashioned way - dates and listening.