Quotes & Jokes about School

39 quotes

When I finished high school I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. Buy my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle.

I did a show in New Jersey in the auditorium of a technical high school. Technical high school, that's where dreams are narrowed down. We tell our children, "You can do anything you want." Their whole lives. "You can do anything!" But this place, we take kids - they're 15, they're young - and we tell them, "You can do eight things. We got it down to eight for you."

Once I beat up the school bully with a baseball bat. Both his arms were completely broken, which gave me the courage.

You can't have an honest fourth grade school teacher. "Mr. and Mrs. Jones, Johnny, your son, your only child, the fruit of your loin, is a moron. I have no idea how this kid finds a door to get out of the house in the morning. If I were you, I would waste him and start over. Now, I say that with all due respect."

I finally just slept with my high school crush. But I swear; now he expects me to go to his graduation - like I know where I'm going to be in three years.

Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.

At school, the first page I ever learnt in French was full of things that are quite difficult to get into conversation, thinks like "The mouse is underneath the table" – "La souris est en dessous la table". Just slip that when you’re buying a ticket to Paris: "Le train à Paris, oui? C’est ici? C’est maintenant? Cinq minutes… la souris est en dessous la table…"

Not everyone in school needs to look like a slut but there should always be one... and I enjoyed being her.

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

I never learned hate at home, or shame. I had to go to school for that.

In Europe, kids learn at least four languages before they're out of high school. But our education system is so underfunded, they go to school to buy heroin and an AK-47.

With all the classes they offer at school, how come they don’t have one for common sense?

When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for hygiene and sanitary reasons.

When I was in high school the worst thing you could ever get was VD. Talk about the sniffles! I just want to meet an old-fashioned girl with gonorrhea.

You've got guys in charge of shows who probably went to school for chemistry, and now they're executive producers.