Why is marijuana not legal? It's a natural plant that grows in the dirt. Do you know what's not natural? Eighty-year-old dudes with hard-ons. That's not natural. But we got pills for that. We're dedicating all our medical resources to keeping the old guys erect, but we're putting people in jail for something that grows in the dirt?
Quote by Greg Giraldo:
Quotes by other comedians
We spend the second half of our life making up for the first half.
He's a real loser. He moved into a new neighborhood and got run over by the Welcome Wagon.
Sports are an acceptable way for men to show emotion. A guy who won't hug his kid will slip a guy a tongue in a sports bar when his team wins.
I know the guy who writes all those bumper stickers. He hates New York.
I'll smoke, I'll cough, I'll get the tumors, I'll die, deal? Thank you America.