People always want to compare their dogs to having kids. That's insulting. First of all, nobody has a dog because they were too drunk to pull out.
Quote by Greg Giraldo:
Quotes by other comedians
Paris Hilton has launched a new champagne in a can called Rich Prosecco. For the ad campaign Paris posed wearing nothing but gold paint. That’s a unique way to cover up herpes.
I've done more than I thought I was ever going to do. I've had a very long and very satisfying career.
You might be a redneck if you use a radiator hose to fix your kitchen sink.