The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm The Beatles.
Quote by Bill Maher:
Quotes by other comedians
America's objective in the Middle East is to create democracy in the same way that my goal on a first date to feed women.
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
I could never be a woman, 'cause I'd just stay home and play with my breasts all day.