Quote by Andrew Dice Clay:

When you jerk off, you’re saying “Hey, I care about me.”

Short bio
Andrew Dice Clay is an American stand-up comedian, actor, musician, and producer. He rose to prominence in the late 1980s with a brash, macho, offensive persona known as "The Diceman". In 1990, he became the first stand-up comedian to sell out Madison Square Garden for two consecutive nights.

All quotes by Andrew Dice Clay

Quotes by other comedians

You can start any Monty Python routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand.

I once met a beautiful, proper English girl. I bid her adieu.... she bid me a don't.

If you have more fish on your wall than pictures, you might be a redneck.