Quotes & Jokes about Care
You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.
Some guy workin’ at Home Depot, he wants to fuck just as many women as a celebrity. But he can’t do it, because whores don’t care about lumber.
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes.
Guys take care of your wife when she’s pregnant. Don’t say stupid stuff either, like me. I came home one time. My wife’s six months pregnant. She’s lying on the couch. There’s food and clothes everywhere. And I walked in and went, “What’d you do today?” Don’t do that. My wife looked up and said, “Today? I don’t know, Henry. Let’s see… what did I do today? Today I made a lung.”
I don't care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
When you jerk off, you’re saying “Hey, I care about me.”
There's no 'brothers' when it comes to white people. We are just complete individuals. We don't care about each other. He's not my brother; my brother lives in Ohio... I don't know that guy.
Everyone keeps saying, "Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating." It's like saying, "How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt?" I don't care.
When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
I don't care if the average guy on the street really knows what I'm like, as long as he knows I'm not really a mean, vicious guy. My friends and family know what I'm really like. That's what's important.
All across the Middle East in the streets, people are demanding democracy. It's amazing. The only way in America you get people to get worked up like that is to threaten to give them health care.
I do podcasts for the same reasons I do stand-up comedy. I love it, and I don’t care if anybody else gets it.
I used to like people more, but now I have children and that changes your life in a lot of ways. Like you spend time with people you never would have chosen to spend time with, not in a million years. I spend whole days with people, I'm like, "I never would have hung out with you. I didn't choose you. Our children chose each other based on no criteria by the way. They're the same size. They don't care who they make me hang out with."
I simply care nothing for any of your religions, as all three are fundamentally flawed, unlike the Church of Common Sense, right from the start! They call God he instead of she and all three would like to burn me at the stake for saying that!
The world is full of horrible things that will eventually get you and everything you care about. Laughter is a universal way to life your head up and say: ‘Not today, you bastards.’