Quote by Buddy Hackett:

My wife said to me, "I want to be cremated." I said, "How about Tuesday?"

Comedian
Short bio
Buddy Hackett was an American actor and comedian. His best remembered roles include Marcellus Washburn in The Music Man; Benjy Benjamin in It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World; Tennessee Steinmetz in The Love Bug; and the voice of Scuttle in The Little Mermaid.

All quotes by Buddy Hackett

Quotes by other comedians

I’ll throw a globe at you! You ever been hit by the world?!

If you look at the Bible and you look at Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, we all know who sinned first. Ladies, do you have to eat everything?

I was at the Wal-Mart, which is where I think everybody goes eventually. If they die without Christ.

A guy complains of a headache. Another guy says, "Do what I do. I put my head on my wife's bosom, and the headache goes away." The next day, the man says, "Did you do what I told you to?" "Yes, I sure did. By the way, you have a nice house!"

For guys, sex is like going to a restaurant, and no matter what you order off that menu, you walk out of there going, 'Damn, that was good!'