Quotes & Jokes about Wife
A friend of mine has a trophy wife, but apparently, it wasn't first place.
I shouldn't tell jokes about my wife. she's attached to a machine that keeps her alive... The refrigerator.
My wife and I had an argument last week that was so stupid, that it bears repeating. My wife collects twist ties... welcome to my world.
That's where the conflict starts. We all want for a wife a combination Sunday school teacher and a $500-a-night hooker.
Well, my wife assassinated my sexual identity, and my children are eating my dreams. We don't bother you with that. We just say "Great."
Yes, I’m married. But my wife understands that a good politician has to be appealing to the ladies. The fact that I haven’t even gotten close to cheating on her is a disappointment to us both.
If you break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.
My wife's not too smart. I told her, our kids were spoiled. She said, "All kids smell that way."
My wife has cut me down to once a month, I'm lucky I know two guys she cut off completely.