If a kid calls his grandma "Mommy" and his mama "Pam", he's going to jail!
Quote by Chris Rock:
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I think it's a good thing that emotional scars are invisible because if emotional scars were visible porn would be disgusting.
Oh, shit... somebody fucked you up real bad. I'll tell you what... I'm gonna go now, cuz I think you want to sit there, by yourself, and think about who you pissed off. Excuse me.
I think comedy is on an organic upsurge right now because when I started, it was 1978 at The Comedy Store and Letterman had just stopped emceeing his morning show.
When I was in high school, girls made fun of me for liking vampire movies. Now, I'd be their king. Time machine, where are you?
Come on, let's sing one of the old tunes. "When you're sliding into home and your pants are full of foam, Diarrhea."