Last time I was down South I walked into this restaurant, and this white waitress came up to me and said: 'We don't serve colored people here.' I said: 'that's all right, I don't eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken.'
Quote by Dick Gregory:
Quotes by other comedians
If you've ever thought of jumping off of a tall building, there was a guy who jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge. He survived, and he said this, he said "halfway down, I thought it was a bad idea."
I heard on the news once, and my uncle does this. The government will pay certain farmers to not grow corn. Wow, where's my check? That'd be great. "Hey, what do you do for a living?" "Well, I don't grow corn. Get up at the crank of noon, make sure there's no corn growin'. You know we used to not grow tomatoes, but there's more money in not growin' corn."
I keep telling people I’ll make movies until I’m fifty and then I’ll go and do something else. I’m going to be a professional gentleman of leisure.