I love that red wine is good for you. Isn't that cool? I want to hear more of this. I want to hear more things in life like, "Red wine, in conjunction with a lap dance, while watching NFL football, is the best cardiovascular workout you can have."
Quote by Dom Irrera:
Quotes by other comedians
Alcohol does not make ugly people attractive. It makes it so you could care less that they're ugly.
Two wrongs do not make a right; but three rights make a left.
There's this billboard in my neighborhood, and it says, 'Don't leave a baby anywhere,' which is true. I imagine the first rule of baby is to not leave it in the street. Don't even leave it with a knife or a sword - even Excalibur.