Hitler ended up in a ditch covered in petrol on fire... so, that's fun. And that's funny. Because he was a mass-murdering fuckhead!
Quote by Eddie Izzard:
Quotes by other comedians
You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you're at a strip club, and the sun is out, you got some problems!
My wife is so fat that when she lays on the beach the people feel sorry for her and try to roll her back into the water.
Well I have a drug history and a public drinking problem and I am not the healthiest guy. So they just ran that I died of a drug overdose.
With my doctor, I don't get no respect. I told him I want a vasectomy. He said with a face like mine, I don't need one.
Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.