My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me.
Quote by Garry Shandling:
Quotes by other comedians
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.
A gypsy girl sent an email to an agony Aunt "I am 12 years old and haven't had sex yet, do you think my brother is queer?"
In comedy, looking back is more important than looking around at your contemporaries because they are too much influenced by the same time period as you are.
There's this whole sense of judgment and who's right and who's wrong and who's moral and who's going to be punished.
I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'.