Quote by Garry Shandling:

I went to my doctor and told him, "My penis is burning." He said, "That means somebody is talking about it."

Comedian
Short bio
Garry Emmanuel Shandling was an American stand-up comedian, actor, director, writer, and producer. He was best known for his work in It's Garry Shandling's Show and The Larry Sanders Show. Shandling began his career writing for sitcoms, such as Sanford and Son and Welcome Back, Kotter.

All quotes by Garry Shandling

Quotes by other comedians

The media tells me what I find attractive in a woman? I think my dick tells me what I find attractive in a woman.

I was talking to Alan Jackson. He had his second Greatest Hits album. He said, You don't ever get into this really thinking you're gonna make it.

It is easy to tell the difference between Jews and Gentiles. After the show, all the gentiles are saying 'Have a drink? Want a drink? Let's have a drink!' While all the Jews are saying 'Have you eaten yet? Want a piece of cake? Let's have some cake!'

I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.

You know, if you're an American and you're born at this time in history especially, you're lucky. We all are. We won the world history Powerball lottery.