Quote by Henny Youngman:

A guy complains of a headache. Another guy says, "Do what I do. I put my head on my wife's bosom, and the headache goes away." The next day, the man says, "Did you do what I told you to?" "Yes, I sure did. By the way, you have a nice house!"

Short bio
Henry "Henny" Youngman was an English-American comedian and musician famous for his mastery of the "one-liner"; his best known one-liner being "Take my wife ... please".

All quotes by Henny Youngman

Quotes by other comedians

I used to fear living a life untouched by God, but now, for some reason I've gone back to being afraid of cement mixers.

If you ever got too drunk to fish, you might be a redneck.

Coward is the most misused word in our society.