I always thought music was more important than sex - then I thought if I don't hear a concert for a year-and-a-half it doesn't bother me.
Quote by Jackie Mason:
Quotes by other comedians
I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, ''Soup of the Day: Cream of Asparagus. Ellen DeGeneres."
Squirrels always eat nuts with two hands, always two hands, "arararar", and occasionally, they stop and go, oh, uh, ah, as if they're going, "Did I leave the gas on? No! I'm, no I'm a fucking squirrel!" And occasionally they go, "Fucking nuts! Fed up with them always. I long for a grapefruit.”
You need an audience to help you figure out what’s working and what’s worth putting on your album or your special - or even just what’s worth touring with.