For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward.
Quote by Jay Leno:
Quotes by other comedians
The legendary Dick Van Dyke on the show tonight. The actor not the pubic beard style. Although... maybe it's time for something new.
It's the hand job of cereals 'cause it's like, 'This is pretty good, but you know what I really want.'
If you've got a dollar and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you've got 71 cents left; But if you've got seventeen grand and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you've still got seventeen grand. There's a math lesson for you.