I think golf is a waste of time and a waste of a sunny afternoon. I also stink at it. I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating.
Quote by Jay Mohr:
Quotes by other comedians
I was walking down the street, something caught my eye... and dragged it fifteen feet.
Blacks and Mexicans do the dumbest shit. The dumbest genocide. Killing each other other fuckin' gang territory that doesn't even belong to us. But when its comes to those crazy "I'll kill 30 kids, bury them under my house and dress up like a clown", white people you take the cake on that shit... Of all the people who got fired from the post office and came to shoot the post office up, how many of them were Black or Mexican? None. And we get fired all the fucking time.
My whole life is a movie. It's just that there are no dissolves. I have to live every agonizing moment of it. My life needs editing.
I once had a leather jacket that got ruined in the rain. Why does moisture ruin leather? Aren't cows outside a lot of the time? When it's raining, do cows go up to the farmhouse, "Let us in! We're all wearing leather! Open the door! We're going to ruin the whole outfit here!"
I felt audiences are happier to take comedy people who play darker people because there's a link between the psychosis of comedy and the psychosis of being a twisted character.